Tragic consequences

Dear Andy: My 11 year old son had a girl over to watch movies after school and they sat together on the couch. I think their hands may have touched. Is that okay, or is he a little too young for physical contact? – Diane in Bellingham


Dear Diane: Here’s how it goes down:
1. Your son touches hands with the girl.
2. She convinces him your tuna casserole is lousy.
3. His grades slip.
4. He’s expelled from school, turns to a life of crime, and perishes in a tragic hotel fire.

If you love your son, keep that dirty wench off the sofa.