Kids belong inside

Dear Andy: My son wanted to go outside yesterday. I am very worried. Outside it can be cold, and sometimes it is hot. There are germs and squirrels and strangers. I would be much happier if he only stayed inside and did something much more safe, like play video games, watch TV, or just stare at the wall. How can I best steer him in a positive non socially invasive manner? - A. F. Raid

Dear AF: Here’s one I have to agree with. History’s most prominent killers, dictators, and thieves have one thing in common, they all went outside. That’s why today’s best parents turn to TV and video games to raise their children. Outside is full of wolves, bears, cars, mowers, and rope swings. I have only one word to describe parents who expose their children to the outside: pathetic, irresponsible, lame-ass, inside-phobic morons. Together Wii can make a difference.