Baggy pants

Dear Andy: My son walks around with his pants hanging down like a gangster. That would be fine, but we’re an upper middle class family with two Volvos and a cleaning lady. Should his baggy pants bother me? – Herb in North Dakota

Dear Herb: I’ve got to tell you, those middle class bastards showing the crack drive me nuts. In the hood, it’s born out of necessity, belts are expensive, but in North Dakota? He’s going to get frost bite on his butt cheeks, which will require a long hospital stay, and most likely end in the amputation of one or both of his ass cheeks. Then, on his wedding night when his wife sees the butt prosthesis for the first time and asks, what happened to your ass, he’ll have to answer; I wanted to look like I couldn’t afford a belt. What a jackass.