What's a mans role in the delivery room

Dear Andy: My wife and I are expecting our first baby in a couple months and I was wondering what you think the role of the father is in the delivery room. – Brent in Alger

Dear Brent: Miracle of child birth my ass. You need to do whatever it takes to not get your ass kicked. There’s going to be blood, sweat, and tearing flesh, and she may feel some mild discomfort as well. I suggest you stay calm, remember your breathing exercises, and for god’s sake, keep your privates out of her reach.