Mountain Do

Dear Andy: My son really likes Mountain Do. Yea, you heard me, Mountain Do, he has terrible spelling. He is 16 and the editor for his school newspaper. He published a story about his love for Mountain Do and now he is teased by everyone. Any idea how to help him out of this predicament? – Terry in Las Vegas

Dear Terry: Your kid’s a dumb-ass. Sorry, but it needs to be said. Mountain Do? Unless it’s a volcano, a mountain do nuthin’, just like your son. He’s in way over his head, and a correction like this is just what he needs. Try to steer him into something he can be successful in, like recycling.