Get your child the dog

Dear Andy: Our son really wants a dog, but we can’t because my husband is allergic. What’s the best way to explain this to a 5 year old. – Ann in Michigan

Dear Ann: Your husband’s not allergic, he’s faking. Not all, but most people who claim to be allergic to dogs, just don’t like dogs. It doesn’t necessarily make them bad people, just liars and selfish pricks. So, back to your original question, what’s the best way to tell your son he can’t have a dog? Don’t. Tell him he can have that dog because his selfish prick of a father is moving into the small apartment building down the street where the other recently divorced fathers live.