You have only yourself to blame

Dear Andy: My son is a tad hyperactive. I drank a lot of coffee and ate a lot of sugar when I was pregnant. Am I to blame? – Amy in Bellingham

Dear Amy: Blame is such a strong word, but appropriate in this case. You have created a monster. Here’s a little peek into your future:

Age 5 - Finally out of diapers
Age 8 - Burns down the house with waffle maker
Age 12 thru 15 - The juvie years
Age 16 - Gets the neighbor girl pregnant
Age 17 - AA
Age 24 - First job, Taco Bell
Age 28 - Back in diapers

There is an upside. You get to keep the college fund.