Bad fumes

Dear Andy: My daughter is teething and likes to suck on my empty beer bottles. Do the left over beer fumes pose a hazard? – Todd in Bellingham

Dear Todd: Beer fumes will have no ill effect on children. But they do present another, far more serious problem. Yea, you know what I’m talking about, the dreaded beer fume baby farts. While they make up only .00001% of all known fumes, they are responsible for up to 78% of drywall damage in the tri-state region.