Winky Shrinker and Fun Balls

Dear Andy: My son gave her mother and me nicknames. He calls me Fun Balls, and my wife Winky Shrinker. I don’t understand this new slang. Is he insulting us, or are these terms of endearment? – Mike in Wisconsin

Dear Mike: Good news for you, but not so good for your beautiful wife. Fun Balls is a combination of the words funicular, and ballerina. Basically he is saying you are strong, can climb steep hills, and are a very good dancer. Winky Shrinker on the other hand is the combination of the words testicle and sucker. Apparently your son wants to teabag his mother.

Read more...

The perfect son

Dear Andy: I just wanted to share that I feel my son is perfect. Do you have any suggestions on how to raise a perfect child?? - Allison in Missoula

Dear Allison: You fall into one of two groups. The 95% of all mothers who think their son it perfect, or the .0002% of mothers who do, in fact, have a perfect son. If you fall into the first group, don’t feel bad, it’s what you think that really matters. If you are lucky enough to fall into the second, far more exclusive group, I can put you in touch with my mother. She has over 37 years of experience with a perfect son.

Read more...