The athletically gifted son

Dear Andy: I have a 16 year old son who is athletically gifted. What sport should I steer him towards? – Maggie in Taos

Dear Maggie: There are three levels of sporting:

Athletic – These are the sports that make you a man – football, soccer, running….
Non-athletic – These are the fat guy sports – Baseball, bowling, golf, etc.
Mississippi – These include shooting at appliances, drinking and driving, and spouse abuse.

If your son is truly athletic, he’ll excel in the athletic and non-athletic sports. If he’s a dumb-shit with a confederate flag hanging off the back of his 74 Ford pick-up, he’s all Mississippi.