Go in, or let him cry it out

Dear Facebook friends: What happened to my great sleeper? Since he turned two, he's been fighting it. So torn between going in or letting him cry it out. Neither seems to work. Argh!!! – Amy in Bellingham

Dear Amy: I guess you think owning two cows and a golden egg in Farmville makes you a parenting expert. Not even close! This decision is made only by you. Thirty years from now when the toothless, meth soaked shell of your former self has moved back in with your grown son, and you’re crying your diapered ass to sleep, the decision will be his. Will he, A – come in and comfort you, or B - let you cry it out.

The decision is yours.

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What happens to ugly babies

Dear Andy: I always hear parents bragging about their beautiful babies but not much is said about the ugly babies. My question is what happens to ugly babies? - Amy in Seattle

Dear Amy: It’s a dirty little secret that parents of ugly babies would rather I not talk about, but I think you deserve to know the truth. Ugly babies are refined into baby oil.

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How old should my son be to open a Facebook account

Dear Andy: My son turns 12 next week. How old should he be before I let him open a Facebook account? – Theresa in L.A.

Dear Theresa: Facebook really isn’t for kids; it’s for middle age parents who want to spy on their kids. Do yourself a favor and sign him up immediately.

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